


then, weep, my dear

by firesheeep



Series: something about the universes [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Gen, Sickfic, hospital au, minor mentions of a gun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:20:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29076987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firesheeep/pseuds/firesheeep
Summary: Taeil was never real, he's just a delusion his mind came up with
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun & Moon Taeil
Series: something about the universes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2133312
Kudos: 1





	then, weep, my dear

**Author's Note:**

> a translation of my own fic. 'menangis oh menangislah sayang' yeah

“The problem is, have you ever been real in my eyes?”

Taeil shook his head, slowly, like he was afraid of the response.

“Never was, never will,” He said. 

Then laugh, you fool. The giggle real-Taeil loved becomes something wet and doesn't bring joy anymore. It's simply a broken record.

Can't really blame Taeil for all the things his own brain made up, because it simply cannot cope with the loss he suffered in the past 6 months. All of these things are just a reflection of what he deeply wants yet cannot achieve. In the end, his brain chose to lie to itself to control his frazzled mind.

Pathetic. To face a problem his mind has to woo his old brain that is long dead. Is it not better to just grab a gun and let the bullet pierce his brain, once more? With two bullets lodged in his head, truly the suffering will end, somehow.

He scoffed, his brain is already dead for 6 months, why ask more? The God's eye that used to be exalted and loved is now nothing but a simple sorry for all the things he has been through.

Now he is merely a sad man with a cracked eye, a brain with a hole, and feet that cannot take him to the final line. Pathetic, truly.

The nurses kept encouraging him, that someday, all of these delusions he faced on a daily basis, will go away.

The proof is, Taeil, the only thing his weak mind could project, is truly the most beautiful thing to be ever created and think of. But he sadly appeared in front of me to deliver the truth about the true identity of the realness he is. 

It brought a little joy, that his broken mind with the hole could project Taeil precisely down to the tiny cells of his body. Even though his body constantly lied to him, he would never even know if this Taeil was real if he was healthy and fine. 

But he doesn't even know if he even knows the real Moon Taeil, it seems like the one he ever knows is just the fragment of his mind.

But sadly, the fact that Taeil is standing in front of him means that all of the time he spent rotting on the hospital bed is for nothing. All those pills and IV’s that are injected into his body are for nothing. Even through all of those drugs, his brain fought nail and tooth to keep the projection of Taeil stable. 

“Now what?” He asks, Taeil too doesn't know. All of this started from his own brain, of course Taeil couldn't answer. Sometimes, he is just too mean.

“What must i do to make this fucking ghost disappear?” He asked again, the tone tasted bitter in his tongue. Taeil is not affected, but he silently chews on his bottom lip.

“It's funny, you're asking something fake for the answer to your problems,” Taeil said, the man on the bed is silent. 

“Answer me Taeil, so we all could go home and live our life, oh, but you're just a ghost. You have nothing to live for,” The man on the bed snarked. Taeil is silent, if he's offended, he's doing a great job at hiding it. There is nothing but kindness and maybe pity behind his eyes. 

Could the man, somehow, blame Taeil for all the suffering ths 6 months? 6 months with brokens eyes and feet that cannot walk anymore. Also 6 months with Taeil that is his imagination. Thousands of prayers that are whispered next to the windows flew futile to the skies. All those breaths he wasted, all is fruitless in his eyes now.

Can he really blame Taeil for all of this? The man thinks and fantasizes about a world where everything is just so easy to blame him, go home, cry, and then go back to the world as a crippled man who used to be called a hundred loving names.

But if you think about it, Taeil is simply a product of his mind who is traumatized and with a gaping hole in the middle.There is no one to blame but himself.

But everything is just so easy if he just blames him, right? The weight is swallowing him down like a black cloak on the cold floors of the hospital, bringing him to the underground, and he cannot do anything but to drown and drown to the abyss who is kissing him sweet words and empty promises.

Weep,  _ oh _ , weep. Let the tears fall, while a part of his brain is frozen and mute is on the front seats. 

“Now what?”There is no hint of maliciousness in his tongue. Only the bitter pain of defeat. Doesn't know anything else to do beside to raise his white flag up and high. He used to be a raging wolf, now, he's just a little orange tabby cat with his tail between his legs.

“Let him go,” Taeil says, who,  _ oh _ , kept smiling even through this crippled man's bitter tone who is just sometimes too evil for a pure soul such as him. Real or not, Taeil always smiles from ear to ear. 

“How?” Whispered the man, even though there are no familiar clicks of the nurses high heels or the doctors dress shoes.

  
  


Taeil pointed to the palm of the man’s hands, then instructed him to open it slowly. Feels like opening a christmas gift, not knowing what to expect. 

And then, as that fist no longer hurts the palm of his hand with uncut nails, he disappears. 

Just like that, his illusion who spent the last 6 months waiting for him in the corner of the hospital room, disappears. Nothing special or heart-wrenching. 

The disappearance of his delusion is like another Thursday in another week. No memories to hold by the brown eyes man who onces again weeps a little more. 

There is no confetti, or hysterical crying that filled the corridors. Only a sigh from someone that is defeated and no more.

Maybe tomorrow he could meet the real Taeil.

**Author's Note:**

> i like writing about taeil being an unattainable entity, like is the dude even real? no one knows


End file.
